The shark has been around, pretty much unchanged, for 450 million years. Before you start gushing about the “wonder of nature,” stop to think about the WHY? The shark doesn’t belong to any “circle of life”. The Shark is unnatural. The Shark gives nothing and takes everything (in big bites). The shark serves no purpose other than to kill, to terrorize, to feed.

Shark-hugging hippies and liberals will be quick to point out that only about 5 people die from shark attacks each year.

…that you have a 1 in 63 chance of dying from the flu and a 1 in 3,700,000 chance of being killed by a shark during your lifetime.

…that you are 4 times more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark in America this year.

Hippies will tell you all kinds of shit.

None of this justifies continuing to allow the shark to exist, and our children to die. The fact is that the American Constitution guarantees you the inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness. Something that the shark is taking away from you. How can you sleep when your oceans are filled with violent killers? How can you dare to call yourself an American and still let your children engage in water sports made unsafe by the dastardly shark?

Now let’s be honest. Does having sharks improve your life? No! Would you notice them being gone? No! Planning a beach vacation with the kids this summer? Yes!

The Founding Forefathers sacrificed everything for your Right to Pursue Happiness and Freedom, and you are going to meekly stand by doing nothing while the Shark takes another 4-6 lives in 2016!

Shame on you America! Shame! That blood is on your hands.