Believe me when I say that nobody loves the subjects of porn and politics more than the writers here at Word151. There are, however, situations when two good things do not a better thing make. Mayonnaise and cigarettes. Cocaine and Saunas. Or the unfolding Political/Sex game going on around the Brexit.

Dominatrix Merkel and her Gallic Gimp Hollande have just received a prize offering from “buddy” David Cameron. Poor little “Aspirant Prime Minister” Boris Johnson has bitten off more than he can chew as he finds himself hog-tied and ball-gagged in the domination dungeon of European Politics.

Merkel, always the harsh mistress, has decided to tie the bonds tightly, preventing Boris and his butt-chums Farage and Galloway from squirming away.

There will be no “informal” discussions of Britain’s exit from Europe. No re-negotiations. Merkel and Hollande have denied them the slightest chance of escape from their referendum. The Dominatrix has demanded an immediate commitment to instigating Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty. This will begin an irreversible two year departure from the EU.

There is no way out of it for poor little Boris. The door to freedom has been slammed shut. He is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. Boris can either sieze the reigns and ride Britain out of Europe, or he can back down. Either way, his political career is finished. Merkel holds the whip, Hollande warms the lubricants, and safe behind glass in a private viewing chamber, Cameron quivers in anticipation of the show to come.