It’s a bit racy to say “white people”, and also not technically correct, so this headline should read:

Eurasians Aren’t Human

And that is technically true. They are, in a sense of the word, LESS human than Africans.

Europeans, and some Near East Asian populations, are hybrids. Not the cool kind of hybrid like the Beefalo, Zonkey, Wholphin or Liger (Yes these are all real!). And not the lame ass kind of hybrid like the Toyota Prius.


But Eurasians aren’t even true 50/50 hybrids at that. They are more like polluted, soiled, mutant hybrids. (And not the cool X-man kind of mutant!)

Recent findings reveal that when modern humans began spreading out of Africa around 40,000 to 80,000 years ago, Neanderthals interbred with them. In fact, about 2 percent of the DNA of Eurasians is Neanderthal in origin.

The Neanderthal genome stills exist in modern Europeans, influencing their skin, hair and the diseases they get. Some researchers have also suggested that the Neanderthal genes might have helped early Europeans adapt better to colder climates, giving them an evolutionary advantage for Northern climes.

Scientists now believe that a with sample of about 1,000 individuals they may be able to isolate and find nearly all the Neanderthal DNA present there. So like his buddy the Woolly Mammoth, the Neanderthal may some day be cloned/recreated/grown. Maybe we could make them fight each other on live TV!

In the meantime, remember that people of European decent aren’t 100% human. So try to be patient when they do dumb things, like voting an Orangutans for President.