A simple example that even the most childlike minds of America should comprehend. Trust me, you do have a few…

The de facto scare-tactic of the BIG Two Political Parties in American has always been to portray a third party vote as “wasted” or “stupid”. This is Argumentum in Terrorem, an argument out of fear. The real Fear here is that they will lose their Coke/Pepsi monopoly on power, profit and thought.

Original image courtesy of Dr. Seuss

Original image courtesy of Dr. Seuss

If you chat “politics” this political season you will soon be presented with “seemingly” convincing arguments regarding the “wastefulness” of a third party vote.

Bored of these arguments, I tend to present the following anecdote. I hope that it will help you too.

The world is harder for Left-handed people. Objects tend to be, when applicable, designed for the 85% right-handed majority. This leads to more accidents, feelings of ineptitude and depression. Studies show that as a Lefty your chances of reaching old age are worse than that of a Righty.

This isn’t anyone’s fault or some sort of intentional discrimination, it’s just the way the world is. But it doesn’t have to be. Lefties throughout America could improve their Fates in a peaceful and democratic manner in the way the Founding Forefathers intended. Enter a new Political Party; The Lefticans.

The Lefticans approach every issue from a pro left-handed standpoint. Their policies are, obviously, not attractive to the 85% of right-handed voters. So The Lefticans will probably never top more than 15% of the vote in any election. According to many people, their votes are “wasted” because they can never elect a President or Congressman.

But are The Lefticans votes really wasted? 15% is a pretty decent sized block of voters. Bam!, the DNC and GOP will both suddenly start trying to claim which of them has always historically been the most Ambidextrous. Both Big Parties will do what they always have done, try to absorb The Lefticans. But if The Lefticans can remain united and steadfast, The Big Two will be forced to start to suggest some actual pro-left-handed policies to pander to that crucial 15% of voters.

“Winnability” doesn’t matter as much as the average American has been programmed to believe. If the third party candidate can exert an influence on the Big Two parties, their objectives can be accomplished.

So next time some idiot tells you that a third party vote is “wasted” check to see if he’s right-handed. Chances are that he is! Right-handed and an idiot.

Original image courtesy of Dr. Seuss

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