Colin Kaepernick must have taken History 151.

Any student of standard American High School History might have briefly brushed over the War of 1812. The only reason why this War even makes it into American History Books at all is because it produced the poem Defence of Fort M’Henry that which later became The Star Spangled Banner. Besides that, nobody really wants to dwell on the other stuff. But Word151 does!

In 1812 America got their asses handed to them in a hand-basket by the English and Canadians. America was being a total douche, aggressively invading Eastern Canada with the objective of absorbing it into the United States. Congress over-estimated American military power (or underestimated how OP the British were) and got totally wrecked. American History Books claim that this war was a tie. But it wasn’t. Not even close. Not only did America, as the invader not gain a single meter (yard for the losers) of soil, they also had their Capitol Washington invaded, plundered and burnt to the ground. America got owned!

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For this reason American History Books like to focus more on The Star Spangled Banner. Which sucks as a National Anthem. Obviously America the Beautiful should have that honor! Better song, more about America, more caring, easier to sing… but I digress …

On the night of September 13, 1814, the British bombarded Fort McHenry in Baltimore. Francis Scott Key, an American Lawyer and prisoner aboard a British Warship was inspired to write the lyrics for Defence of Fort M’Henry. Which ironically was then adapted to a popular British Musical piece of the time To Anacreon in Heaven to form The Star Spangled Banner.

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Suck-ass poem. But what is worse is line 5 of the 3rd refrain. (There are four in total)

No refuge could save the hireling and slave.*

*This line addresses the coming fate of those daring to attack the land of the free and the home of the brave.

This is a reference to the British Empire’s practice of freeing slaves, guarantee them citizenship as free men, and then offer them a chance to fight against their former masters. Slavery was illegal in the British Empire at the time. The Hirelings part speaks for itself (Mercenaries were also a staple of British Colonial Armies)

So what have we learned in History 151 children?

American got it’s ass toasted by British-Canada and The Star Spangled Banner both sucks, and is racist.

None of this makes Colin Kaepernick any less of a f-faced, loud-mouth, douche bag, choker. But The Star Spangled Banner is shit too! So lets be fair!

 

 

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